elizabeth grigg - the other fourth meal

Funny, I should be obsessing over completely different things. I should be obsessing over a) the prospect of losing a good tennant, and b) the prospect of my contract at MS ending soon. But since I was obsessing over jobs and money and "the property" ever since 9/11 it all seems so, I don't know, "oh one." I know these things are important and life will seem seriously broken if I can't shore them up somehow. However they're not occupying my mind at all. Transcendent Zen or sheer stupidity, time will tell.

Instead, here's what's really on my mind:
1) Completely ready for my packaging retreat. Today I had to park on level "X2" which is not nearly as cool as it sounds. While waiting for the elevator, I noticed the cigarette butts in the ashtray thing which is part of the metal garbage can they have in the garages at MS. Say what you want to say about cigs, they immediately bring to mind the kind of life where skinny people wearing black and drinking cappuccinos write poetry in black-bound sketchbooks while speaking lucidly on topics like ingmar bergman. It's a package, and by the time you're my age you realize you have a choice of packages. The cigs just reminded me I have a choice. Of course my package will involve a spec portfolio and passing my C# exam. But maybe I can do the skinny and black thing too, perhaps catch a few films (but bergman? ewwww).
2) The neighborhood is going to hell in a handcart, and I have no idea why. I want to offer a solution other than calling 911 every 5 minutes and sitting on my porch with my police log and my binoculars. Is it possible it's a war zone because we can only "fight crime?" How can I offer something people need (like hooking up well-deserving folks living in cramped section 8 housing with the 3 abandoned houses on the block) rather than focusing on getting people in trouble? How can I have a guaranteed chance of success with this, rather than just throwing effort down a time consuming hole? Unfortunately I'm still in the research stage. It doesn't help that many people at MS live in la la land (otherwise known as the "Eastside") where the streets are clean, the houses are new, the schools have way too much money, and everyone is civil. I can't say it doesn't tempt me sometimes.

Oh, and the reason for my writing this entry. Is it just me, or are people completely prepared to shift gears right now. For example, I found out about Lenn through Heather's marketing at MS weblog. Lenn is my new hero (sorry Joel, not enough angst). And then there's Secret Geek who I found out about from Kathleen Dollard. I would love to know what inspired this post, and I have it favorite-d because a simple subscribe to rss doesn't do it enough justice somehow. With that said, I swore when setting up this weblog I wouldn't re-hash the 90s for everyone here. At least, not until I buy some stock in the kleenex corporation, because there would surely be a run on it. So I won't. Once someone blithely pointed out to me "Everyone has a dot-com hangover of some kind" and I wanted to throttle them. The point when you are in the midst of grief is to continue to view it as unique. Talk like "it happens to everyone" is misplaced and condescending, no matter how true it is. Now almost 5 years later I'm ready to hear everyone else's story and look for similarities. Perhaps I'm getting over it.