catching up
Yes, it's been ages. No, I haven't won over the magic fairies who broke my comments yet. Now that we have the disclaimers out of the way, here is roughly what has been happening the past few weeks.
* Pulled off a spectacular trip to the Scoble OffTheGrid Montana thing. It's quite possible that DVD players in cars will redefine childhood summers and alter forever the next generation's relationship to boredom. Anyway, a different post.
* Rented out our house again - only one more time this year - and returned successfully and nothing amiss. Very satisfying to help people directly instead of via a product.
* Lots of job interviews, many by phone. I am finding my criteria very useful in setting up the interview for success, as my resume is so targeted for positions I am well suited for that the others just don't seem to call.
Time management has been spectacularly hard. That's the underlying thread beneath how July and August has been and will probably continue to be for this year. On any given day I am watching two small children, attempting to decide what to wear to a job interview, negotiating babysitting amongst the various free options available, packing for a trip, prepping the house for guests, and taking care of myself (whatever that means). My netflix sit unviewed. I am starting the thing where I get up early without the alarm, just because the house is quiet and it's my big chance to do something on my list without another factor running defense. My basic expectation is I am not working - that is, earning a paycheck - at the moment so therefore should be relaxing and doing whatever I would be doing if I was independently wealthy and not in need of work. This expectation is not reasonable and in fact my job(s) right now are even harder due to the lack of regularity, and the constant financial squeeze underscoring the works.
Going specifically over the taking care of myself piece. While I watch the usual pace of the Solution work I am doing slow to a crawl, I have developed a set of pause-state tasks that, while not actual progress in the program, somehow keep me from backtracking into old thinking patterns and habits. The main thing is to plan my day each day. This is something I did before, but the requests of the Solution work require that you plan your eating, body work, meaningful pursuits, restorative activity, sleep pattern, and intimacy (sensual, social, and emotional). It works like a scan on all points of what makes up a rewarding life, and in planning your day you can set yourself up for success in some of these areas - ideally all.
Eating - might be taking on the challenge of 5 fruits and vegetables, or avoiding junk, or looking at quantity, whatever you decide is a good choice for where you are mentally and physically. In the documentation they recommend a more specific program but this more general approach works better for me right now.
Body work - I have drawn the line at making sure I do the physical therapy exercises each day, especially when I can't make it to yoga or the pool. Over the past few weeks I have wavered from doing the event-exercise such as a class, to swinging back to doing nothing. The PT is great compared to nothing.
Meaningful Pursuits - this is a tough one, it asks every day if what you are doing with the large block of your time is what you were put on earth to do. On days off such as the day I got back from Yellowstone I put "day off!" on there, but that meant I was not watching the kids that day. Usually this has a combination of parenting and career search type activities. The rental work is not really a hobby, and this goes there too. And wouldn't you know all these turn out to be meaningful in their own way. The career thing is a bit of a wildcard, certainly interviewing is not proper work but rather tangential, but I cut the whole scene some slack.
Restorative activity - It's good to have a menu of things you know can put energy back on your plate when you need it the most. My menu is rather short. I do not have a formula for this other than sleep, which is already covered. I try various things if I have time. I signed up for massage at the half price massage school, that is going well, and reading is such an indulgence that definitely qualifies.
Sleep pattern - Supposedly the core to your physical and emotional well being is getting enough sleep. On the Yellowstone trip I did not get enough sleep on any night we were out... it was a little like having a newborn for the 7 days. So on coming home I took a couple of PM things and assigned the kids to my dh. Then I slunk into the basement where I couldn't hear the screaming. I slept from 8:30 to 6:30, woke up and used the computer and did not surface until 10. I swear I had transformed into a different person. Good thing too, because the little rascals were up to no good all that night and I didn't hear a thing.
Intimacy - This has several aspects which I think are interchangeable... if it's not a good partner night then there is the interesting concept that seeing friends or somehow accessing that emotional core of authenticity is a related need. On a planning level, it's a good reminder to set aside time to connect.
That's the time management problem. I usually follow the above checklist with a master location-based todo list and list of people to call, etc. Sometimes a meal plan. Invariably I feel more confident about the day after planning it. There is a thing called sanctuary, which is the sense of safety that comes from knowing that each moment you experience was there for a reason, and makes sense in its own little way. The sense of safety that comes from weathering the big bumps with a feeling that the world does not have to exclusively be good news in order to hold together, that the world is resilient and so are you. This is an elusive concept that the planning is helping me grasp. I have been planning my days for years, but it has always been harsh, todo list type of planning that ignored who I was, how I felt, and what could possibly go wrong. This planning has more breath in it.
Anyway, that's the word from the land of spectacularly difficult time management over here. Tomorrow, another interview, then concentrate on my brother getting married and seeing the cousins again. Spotlight comes off of me for a while.