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February 28, 2005

different formula

I'm not the only person who wants the Red Couch to be just as compelling as the universe it represents. The first chapter is posted. Reading it. it's clear that you can't just generate compelling out of thin air.

Take, for example, this structure I observe.
1) Quote something
2) Placement in historical context, such as "Throughout history..."
3) Work in the title
4) Personal challenge to the reader

Let's look at this other structure for the opening of a book. Note that the author did not intend to write a book. But it draws you in immediately and has all the qualities I'm looking for. The structure I observe in this text is
1) Identify a person
2) Identify a problem
3) Person's reaction to problem puts her in a dangerous situation (now I'm intrigued)
4) Allude to contextual influences which "started it" but do not disclose them.

The reason why this is a great opening is that the reader gets to bring all the questions to the table. In the previouis example, the reader is spoon fed the questions. It sounds backwards, but it's actually more boring to be spoon fed things, even if you have more information disclosed that way.

Let's think about how to take this Red Couch chapter and put in in the structure I suggest. Something along the lines of:

1) Company A's fearless leader is having trouble doing x y z.
2) Company A tries some expensive things and runs the whole thing into the toilet
3) Fast forward to 3 years and Company A is x y z and more.
4) Fearless leader says something intriguing about how he got everyone else to do it for him (or some other pro-blogging concept)

It's just an idea.

February 26, 2005

blog chicken

Might I be the first person to coin the phrase "Blog Chicken." It's when a bloggable event happens, and the two people most likely to blog about it are each expecting the other person to blog about it first.

Usage: "I still haven't posted that story from last night. Me and Fred are playing Blog Chicken."

personal power

This has been an interesting week. Generally the personal power thing has been skyrocketing. My jupiter must be in the seventh house or something.

Consider these factoids:
* I have started to post material to Chandler's very open and trusting wiki pages. Most have not been touched since 2003. I have posted twice, one on the PDA page and the other on someone else's plea for task management. Here's the dialog I had with my dh in the car about it.
Me: I started adding to the Chandler web site, I added a few ideas,
Dh: What? I thought you were saving all your ideas for Calendar People?
Me: I just decided to stop being a selfish jerk about the whole thing.
* Like most bloggers with a day job, I have become aware this week of items that if I were to post them anywhere, I would be branded a REAL IDIOT with no impulse control and probably lose both my job and my blog. I assume most people are in this situation. For me this became very vivid this week, and I was glad to not even be slightly tempted. With great power comes great responsibility. It's called discretion, and it's a big part of the honor system that makes corporate transparency work.
* I finally wrote back a Microsoft recruiter who never gave me a real "no" for my last round of interviews. I'm asking for a real "no" now. I think I can take it.
* Ever meet someone by happenstance, several buildings away, and then hear their name called out in a conference call / shouting match down the hall about something they did in 1998? Microsoft has, what, 10,000 employees, and what are the chances of this happening?
* I am acutely aware of what it would take to be a new employment opportunity for me right now:
- Your team needs to be empowered at a stakeholder level to do the thing you want to do.
- It must be an area of responsibility within my core career path. I have something peripheral now. I don't need another peripheral opportunity. This means you must have an actual product, with a team developing it. It has to overlap with personal organization and achievement. I want 100 e-mails a day, people waiting outside my office when I get in, sticky notes on my desk. Don't want to be "overhead."
- You need to exhibit discretion. Tell me what you need to tell me so we can asses the skills and opportunity, but save the juicy stuff for later. If you're not discreet about the small stuff, being my manager, what does that tell me about how my information will be treated?
- This has to be the real deal. I want to take my resume off the internet for 2-3 years. File not found. If I will be tempted to keep it up there just in case, this is not the fit I'm looking for.

Generally all these dynamics are making the world feel smaller, closer, more powerful. The last bullet point above is perhaps the most significant. Since 1991 my stated policy with Microsoft has been I will take any job offered by them, if it's orange or blue, no matter. My goal specifically was to get on the payroll. Now I see how much nonsense that is. The blue card is just a platform for success, it's not success in and of itself. I'd rather take an orange card for a position that meets my goals than a blue card for one that doesn't. Seems obvious, but it's a major change in policy, and the only explanation I have is the personal power angle.

Back at Robert's 40th birthday party, I was fortunate enough to have Halley Suitt read my tarot. Her reading of me said that of course everything would be fabulous and I would get exactly what I wanted. For the first time, my image of what this was did not manifest itself as a Microsoft blue card. I was more shocked at this than anything. Big turning point.

In the midst of all this, here are the new weblogs I'm reading this week, most new names from the new buzz on calendaring I'm happy to see happening:
Ed Brill
Jason Klemow
Kim Cameron
Marc Ochant
Mini-Microsoft

February 25, 2005

spy vs spy

I'm reading a book right now. It's one of those fat books with a mideaval image on the front, a rider with leggings on a well bred horse. The topic is some tumultuous ownership of the english crown around 1100 or so. It's one of those escapist books, just good enough to become a habit but not good enough to miss work over. It's the genre of escapist books the straight-A students in high school would pick up after their homework and the extra credit was done. I imagine this book spending some time in a girl's backpack, long unwashed hair waving down her back as she walks, conflicting occasionally with the zipper. The type of girl who owns a cape, but hides it before she gets home. Glasses. Libido completely projected into story. You remember the type.

I've started to think about the two contenders to the throne as open source and Microsoft. This just sapped into my unconscious and I just realized last night it was happening. The Microsoft contenders to the throne have the popular support, and put on a great show of looking Kingly. However, their claim to the throne is false and stolen. The open source contenders have little popular support, and make very little pretense. They make tactical decisions around what the other team is doing. They don't care how Kingly they look and mourn, but have no remedy for, their lack of popular support. But their claim to the throne is legit, in fact having been named as the heir by the previous King.

The book is by Penniman "While Christ and His Saints Slept"

February 24, 2005

JZ or JZ?

If you're having trouble telling the difference between Jeremy Zadowny and Jamie Zawinski, you're not alone. Zadowny has the RSS feed, and Zawinski doesn't (forever bookmarked here as best "learn from experience" article written anywhere).

Go calendars! Up with individuals and progress! Down with using the word "enterprise" to sound more important!

calendaring what and how

Okay, let's talk about Calendars. The unabomber's shack of communication software. We're out here isolated, writing manifestos about how you can't trust technology and how it should change, and waiting for the feds to break the door down. Maybe not the last part.

There are two types of improvements on the scope of calendaring at the moment. One is to fix the stuff that's broken. Jeremy's list covers some of that. This is a great idea, hard work, needs serious funding.

The other improvement that's needed is making a calendar more valuable. This is the same problem as the digitization of media. There has to be an incentive to having your data in digital format, or people won't do it. If we just fix problems, it will placate existing folks who are used to digital formats, but not recruit any others.

This is why using Calendars as a goal visualization tool is really needed in the next wave of improvements. People want success. How can digitizing their schedule allow for a feature set that makes success inevitable? Answering this question would be my key contribution in helping one of these efforts.

Above I talked about the what. Now I'd like to switch gears and talk about the how. How do you develop this incredible improvement to the calendaring space, with so many balls in the air already? On a more personal level, what do you do when you decide your next career success will be to get on this bandwagon in some way, indeed, you should either join up or get out of software altogether and go into professional organizing. Do I send out a bunch of resumes with pleading letters about how I'd like to help? Do I paint a microbus with little calendar squares on the side and go on a calendaring research world tour? Do I start a company with hopes of being bought by a bigger company later with enough resources to finish the job? It's strategy time, folks. Perhaps I can continue to drone on and on about it in this blog, and someone will notice.

February 22, 2005

budgets

There is nothing more un-empowering than drawing up a budget and falling short of it anyway. You had all your ducks in a row, didn't you, and it shows here you should have 600 ducks left, instead of negative two hundred twenty five ducks that you actually have. Go figure. Ducks.

We had the semi-humiliating open house for our stunning upstairs last weekend, and just because it didn't rent right away (in like 1 day) we're now in a tailspin. Of course we really want to live up there as well as downstairs too, but more importantly we just don't want to take out ads and put out signs anymore. It's just sad in a way. Reminds me of 2001. And truthfully the only reason why we're doing it is that the projected budget is always off from the actuals, when it comes to cash flow. Off approximately to the tune we'd like to rent the upstairs. The spectre we're running from is not even named, it's a see-through budgetary poltergiest that only reveals his workings when you open up to pay the mortgage.

I have a variety of cock-a-maimie schemes to get us out of this mess. One is to turn the upstairs into a bed and breakfast. We wouldn't need constant occupancy, but nor could we move up there during off nights either. Another is to offer it up as a place for home births (seriously!), perhaps through doulas or midwives. Some people don't want a hospital birth but don't think their apartment is right for the job either. We do have the fancy tub. But this is very unpredictable, we'd have to stay at my folks's, or charge enough that we could have a (fun) hotel while the house was in use. My point in mentioning all this is not for you to get any bright ideas, but to show the degree of craftiness I am on with this. I really want out of it. I really want to get this right and have a handle finally. (Oh, I know, why don't I do a budget? d'oh!)

There is an underlying principle that in order to be happy you have to get very crafty and clever with everything you have. No waste. Everything optimized. The only light on all night, of course, is my poor brain who won't shut up about the subject and let me sleep. So that's not crafty, that's just a shame.

The root of this entire problem is the disconnect between budgetary projected and actual. Budget shows we have enough for the whole house. Lovely $800 per month in groceries too. Someone to mow our lawn. We still have enough on paper.

Perhaps it's time for those little envelopes. In March, we won't have any choice.

I'm WHAT???

I couldn't resist Brad's latest test that he found. Seems to have no strings attached. And compare my results to his: he gets big points for Intellect and Agressiveness (yeah, I've worked with a few like you) and I get big points for Openmindedness and Perfectionism. Oh, and Intellect too. So now, in job interviews, when I say my biggest personality flaw is perfectionism, I have proof.

Cattell's 16 Factor Test Results
Warmth ||||||||||||||||||||| 70%
Intellect |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Emotional Stability ||||||||||||||| 50%
Aggressiveness ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Liveliness |||||||||||||||||| 58%
Dutifulness |||||||||||||||||| 54%
Social Assertiveness ||||||||||||||| 42%
Sensitivity |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74%
Paranoia |||||||||||| 38%
Abstractness |||||||||||||||||||||||| 78%
Introversion ||||||||||||||| 50%
Anxiety |||||||||||||||||||||||| 74%
Openmindedness |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 82%
Independence |||||||||||||||||| 58%
Perfectionism |||||||||||||||||||||||||||| 86%
Tension ||||||||||||||||||||| 66%
Take Cattell 16 Factor Test (similar to 16pf)
personality tests by similarminds.com

February 18, 2005

hmmm, hula

Right now, in draft mode, I have saved a really despondent article about calendaring. I didn't publish because it violated some basic advice about posting to your weblog. The advice goes along like this: don't shoot yourself in the foot. Something like that.

I care a lot about calendaring, think if it was fixed, it would open up some real doors for people. Jon Udell agrees with me that the work has stagnated. Whether I was despondent about the subject for good or bad reasons, it's not the way you post about something you care about. Especially as an outsider.

One of my early mentors was a choir director. Cindi Lauper had just fallen off the top 10 list. We were balking a little, as a choir, on singing one of her songs. He said "None of you are in a place where you can make fun of Cindi Lauper. Talk to me when you've worked your whole life on performing, and then achieved the recognition you deserve. Then you can go ahead and make fun of her. Now, you just have to show respect." And you know, he was right, even though frankly maybe she needed a little prodding, maybe it was getting a little goofy, and we definitely should have balked at covering one of her songs. No matter, as outsiders, we had to be respectful. That's where I am with calendaring. Until I become an insider, one of the people solving the problem, you won't see a complaint out of me for people trying to fix the problem. However misguided they may be. JUST KIDDING!

I'm saving that entry in draft mode because all the links are a useful reference. There are a LOT of them. And although it might be discouraging, I am going through each one to try to find that golden customer-facing jewel of a solution evolving.

One of those links is worth mentioning. Now, I don't know about Novell, other than they were a major competitor to Microsoft in the early 90s, and I made the mistake of buying a bunch of stuff from them my tiny company didn't need and couldn't affort around that time. Hula is based on some Novell code. I am not going to describe pros or cons about that as an organizational or technological initiative. What I will say is:

Out of looking at seemingly hundreds of mind bogglingly technical open source calendaring sites, this is the only project that declares itself on its site to be customer facing.

See if you agree. And don't you wish they were done already?

enable response estimates

Here's a new Outlook feature that's less heavy handed than this proposal. (And here). This proposal puts all the onus on the recipient for following your didactic commands. It does not respect that the inbox is a personal place, and so is your time. The recipient should be in control.

My "Enable Response Estimate" feature works like this:
1) You set how many incoming unread e-mail messages constitutes overload. Overload should be more e-mail than you can handle in a day. Perhaps 100 is a fair default. You should be able to select which folders go into this for the count.
2) You should also be able to set Outlook into the overload state, no matter how many messages you have.
3) The response estimate feature works a lot like an out of office message. It does a simple calculation on each message and estimates the next business day the sender can reasonably expect it will be responded to. This information is returned in a reply.
4) The sender can reply back if the matter is so incredibly urgent it can't wait, and the second message will show up in a special folder. But they won't get a different ETA.
5) Initially I was toying with allowing certain addresses to be blocked. However, the feature will be much more powerful if it is universal. Perhaps the response should say "all senders are getting this same estimate, based on the order of appearance of their mail." This lets the sender off the hook.
6) When you're ready to catch up, what you really want is the past business day's messages, and then the urgent ones from when Overload started. A mode can walk you through this catch-up for you, with a time remaining type of progress bar. Option to mail original senders again with "please re-send if important, I'm caught up" at the end. User can edit this list of senders. All messages are marked as read.

Example message:

To: person
From: busy person
Subject: Expect March 15 response to "Funny Joke" e-mail

Dear Person,

Busy Person has set this e-mail account up to give you an estimate of when they will be able to respond to your mail. This is due to the volume of mail and the time available to respond. Your mail has not been lost or discarded. For purposes of your own time management, March 15 is the earliest you can expect a response.

If you would like to place your original mail in an "urgent" folder for review on March 15, reply to this mail with any content. Do not change the subject line. Remember that the term "urgent" is your characterization, and not your recipient's. It does not mean an earlier response.

Thank you for your patience and understanding.

- Outlook Mail Response Estimator (for Busy Person)

the 60% solution

Perhaps I'm just projecting, but it seems like lots of people have taken on too much, and are not enjoying their life on a moment to moment level. I can tell this is happening because, um, it's pretty much a direct quote. Also people tell me in other ways, such as saying no to a social event because of wanting to lay low for a while.

I've laid low before. It doesn't help.

The thing we need is to run our lives like a company, a good one, like say perhaps Microsoft, where we can meet and exceed all shareholder and market expectations and still have, what, 5 billion of "life energy" in the bank.

I call this the 60% solution. Others might call it a formula for card-carrying slackership, but slacker is a personality trait not a status. If you were born to be a slacker, you will be one even if your boss is micromanaging every minute. If you were born to achieve, you will achieve even if you are given gobs of free unstructured time. The 60% solution is aimed at those of us in the latter category, if we could only stop torturing ourselves long enough to make it happen.

Torture is the kind of life where you are constantly on the edge. If one little thing goes wrong, the whole thing collapses. Say you don't get that client. You shouldn't lose your house over it. Say you take a sick day. It shouldn't mean your company misses a deadline to a publisher. Say you try a do it yourself home project in the kitchen. It shouldn't mean you have to order takeout for 2 weeks until enough checks come in, you can hire a contractor to fix your mess. You get the idea. Life on the edge is draining, and it takes energy away from other things. There are even more interesting edges out there, such as the cutting edge for example, that deserve our attention more than the consequences of special microchip-embedded carkeys flying off the roof of the car onto the freeway. If that's a dealbreaker, open up to the idea you might be in a torture chamber called life on the edge. It's not pretty.

What I propose is we all back off from the edge. Say the edge is at 100% of life resources, which means money, time, and energy. Talent too, for some of us. Say we have things structured right now where if we flag in any of those areas, down to 90%, the world notices and turns ugly. Now, that doesn't seem right, does it? 60% is a sweet spot where we should only be required to give so much, and the rest should be gravy. The 40% is opportunity, just sitting there, becoming its own sentient life form, observing the world, or god forbid used as backup in case something goes kablooey.

What does it mean to have only 60% of your life energy allocated, that is, spent before you earn it?
* If the 24 hour day was suddenly reduced to a 14 hour day, you would still be able to perform your core duties. That means paying the mortgage, loving your family, sleeping, eating, and not smelling up the planet.
* If your pay was suddenly cut by 40%, you would be able to keep going financially without taking loans. You wouldn't be saving away anything, but you'd be OK.
* If the opportunity of a lifetime dropped in your lap, you could take it on a trial basis, and swap your day job out for it once you're successful (thus normalizing back to 60%).

How, you might ask, how do we get there? How do I get there? I have so many things going on, I don't know which ones to quit, which to let self-destruct? And of course I don't know. I heard once that we work harder than humans have ever worked. We're supposed to spend 2-3 hours hunting and gathering and then sitting by the fire gossiping for the rest of the time. I bet those were good stories, too.

February 17, 2005

thin and broad

Small notes on 2 weeks worth of reading:

* Ben, what do you wear under the utilikilt? And what do you do for socks? I'm sure you discovered why women are always daintily crossing their legs. If you like to sit like you're on the sidelines at a sporting event, you have to wear something. I don't want to use the "b" word (bloomers) but you see the problem. Then there's the "untanned unshaven white man legs poking out the top of black dress socks pulled all the way up" problem. I mean, of course you're untanned and unshaven, and you're not going to wear white tube socks, but the little tufts. Egads. Then there's the shoe choice. Combat boots dictate socks. Sandals just make you feel like a princess. Is there a middle ground? I guess it's been too many bus rides for me with a loyal utilikilt gentleman sitting splay-legged across the seat. There isn't an easy answer.

* Jay, if only you could have written more of all the details! But the conclusion is gold. I think we all know this at heart, we just need more evidence.

* Joel throws some stones at the programmer's mentality. Oh, how I miss UI design.

* Rory makes a choice because of his schedule. This reminds me of one night I had an anniversary dinner. A co-worker asked me if I could "manage my conflict" and be able to attend the 6pm meeting after all. Management always means stuffing it, it seems. Bravo, Rory.

* Yay, Robert, posting that you're overwhelmed. Someone very close to me today said they are thinking about quitting their incredible job because they are not the kind of person who should have lots of things going on. Seems drastic, like cutting out your product's largest feature because then you'd be able to do the other 699. But so tempting...

* Seems like I keep subscribing to Dare, but it doesn't stick. I'd love to work on his team, but I know better than to apply as a developer.

* Also belatedly subscribed to Mary Hodder. I'd love to go hiking. Too bad about geography.

Overall it seems like the blogosphere is tired, postings are thin and broad. I know the feeling, what with not having eaten a meal in 3 days and having my brain swell up (and not in a good way). Only those stoking the star-making machinery are posting lots, and even they are burning up. Conference overload, maybe? As I said, too bad about geography. Perhaps we need to hold conferences on the airplanes themselves.

beenawhile.org

There should be a top ten list somewhere for "it's been a while" blog posts. Perhaps a utility that scanned for that string, and pinged not weblogs.org but something else. A roster of all people back to weblogging. We'll see how good their reasons are for being gone. Mine are:
* A vow not to use company time or computer for weblogging
* Subsequent failure of my own computer, and being in the shop for 2 weeks
* Stomach flu

I finally get my computer back and plug it in. It's a little like entering a house that's been robbed. Why won't it turn on? Oh, they switched the little hardware lock thingy. Why won't it boot? Oh, it's in orange alert from some new hardware. There goes my antivirus, out of date of course. It greedily notices I'm online even before Windows can show its icon in the systray. There goes another update for Windows, competing for clock speed for my Outlook boot process. This time it's "malicious software removal tool." Onward, upward. Check the kitchen for the first real lunch in a while, cooking in the oven and smelling up the house. I still don't think it smells good. Perhaps I'd better not eat it. Outlook finally boots, I say yes to archiving old items, but then I go about messing with my news folder like I always do after it's been a while. I delete it, then change in NewsGator preferences to create the new folder again in the same place with the same name and send the news there. Then I do a big retrieve and watch it go. Usually this only results in a small number of bolded folders but this time there is a long stack. Even David Allen has 24 posts which should tell you how long I've been off reading. Occupational Adventure added (sm) to his/her tagline, does this mean I can't quote? (And you thought I took my tag line seriously). Come to think of it, the entire posting space looks pretty broad and thin. I'll take a read and let you know if I have anything to say wrt reverse engineering happiness.

By the way, I'm still all over Tommy Bahama. The concept of the endless weekend is downright riot inducing. I've quoted it to several people in conversation and it's never seemed irrelevant. It just, as they say, sums things up.

February 11, 2005

starcharts

I have been utilizing an informal system of star charts off and on for a while. Usually things have to be getting pretty bad in a certain category: work, home, finances, etc, in order to prompt their creation and use. The theory is, we are forgetful people, and placing a chart in a prominent position in your home will be enough to change behavior in a positive direction.

The trick is, the items you write down have to be actionable. One could, of course, write down "don't f**k up so much" or "stop being a jerk" which although worthy goals are not indeed actionable. Neither is "ship a product" or "lose weight" or "go to venice." Actionable is that little thing you do every day that will make the achievement of the goal inevitable. It may be true that writing e-mails offline only, for later review and careful consideration, will reduce the number of self induced e-mail based traumas. If this is your disaster du jour, then only the actionable step is on your star chart and not the goal itself. For venice, perhaps that means skipping the second latte and putting the money in a jar. In a hundred years, presto, you'll be in venice. You get the idea.

I like to have the standard 2 dimensional x/y axis star charts have a scope of about a week. Lots of things can be solved with diligent effort within that time. Sleep deprivation, for example, or a backlog of chores, or getting back on an exercise program or writing on your weblog. Other things require broader planning, and more axis for the charts. This is where things get interesting from a design perspective. Say you want to go to venice and you have your daily activities toward that. You might have weekly, monthly, or quarterly activites that feed into that as well. Perhaps it is a stretch to take half a day a month at the library to read up on the area, or to check out another Italian tape to learn in the car. If you take the concept of a standard x/y star chart, but accomodate these periodic and one-off activities, the chart will no longer be square. Perhaps it has areas that fan out from each other, like a world map that is flat but sliced to show correct proportions. Perhaps it is circular with a small center and dartboard-style target areas in concentric circles, with broadest time periods on the outside. These are fascinating representations of your goals, especially if you can view them on a per-goal basis, alternating with an event list for the day. It goes beyond the concept of a reminder system into a visualization system. That's why I ultimately think this is a software product and not a piece of paper. But an x/y starchart is a simple concept to start with.

One of the high level benefits to providing such a system, is people need a defense against the culture of sloth. The problem with sloth is it is not nearly as fun as most people think. If we could fantasize about accomplishment in the same way we fantasize about sloth, just think what we could do. A visualization tool makes all that possible, eliminates guilt from the variety of trade-offs along the way, and scales expectations to the resources at hand.

For example, this morning I tried my first day of working at home. By all measures, it was doomed. First, I actually scheduled a few errands in the morning. My best working time, gone. Then, I thought I would spend a couple minutes on the bills. There is no such thing. After that, I mostly felt like reading Vanity Fair magazine and sitting on the couch. Then I remembered I forgot to call into a conference call a couple of hours before. You can imagine the guilt and distraction. So the work at home thing was a complete bust, at least for this day. There I am, brain fried, looking through VF hoping for a break from all the annoying things I've been feeding my brain. Let me share that VF is a lousy life goals visualization tool. Nonetheless, it tries. One ad for Tommy Bahama crows about the "endless weekend." This is a theoretical place where we can walk on beaches and the invisible waitstaff irons the linen clothing we so stubbornly insist on wearing. Is this what we really want to aspire to? Gaugain, in Tahiti, worked and drank his horse off every day, painting up a storm, undoubtedly suffering but likely normalizing out to the initial happiness level he brought with him when he arrived.

But I wan't thinking about all that. That's analysis. What I thought of, in the brief moment of admiration of the Tahiti lifestyle, was "I'm doing the wrong thing." Meaning, if I actually want to escape, and am tempted by that liquor (figuratively), perhaps I should do the right thing here at home and render the escape plans moot. The concept of sloth should not hold such sway. It's a myth, anyway. That's what I want to do with starcharts. Visualize your life, right now, absolutely terrific, going exactly where you want it to. All of a sudden you don't need anything else.

This is what I mean by reverse-engineering happiness, by the way.

February 10, 2005

grief

Seemingly inherent to the concept of motherhood is the companion idea that you are not-mother, that truly you don't know where these little people came from, and they're awful cute, but you wonder how the sales are going on your latest album even as you're looking at them. Oh, you're not a rock star? Some part of you thinks you are, despite all evidence to the contrary. That's the not-mother part.

Nursing a baby is incredibly demanding. It requires the kind of focus that keeps coal miners in the tunnel. If you're working, it's three times a day at the machine, and then you'd better clock in at home as well, as the "girls" will lose all hope if they don't get the real thing. So if baby decides his series of head colds, ear infections, and mouthborne bone invasions are incompatible with the "girls," such that he'd much rather have a bottle, thank you, you're in real trouble. The vein of coal has just dried up. And it's flu season.

So all this time you're convincing yourself that not-mother doesn't exist, she's too distracting, she needs to focus on the task at hand. Being a baby is a once in life. But not-mother is suddenly the wisest person in the room. A baby who cries and arches away from the breast for weeks on end is a downright insult to mother. Not only does she feel like last year's oyster, but the plummeting demand sends all kinds of "where's the baby, what's wrong with the baby" type hormones through her body. It's a lot like being dumped and having someone die on you at the same time. And then there's the machine, looming, promising only to string you along but not fix the problem. Yes, in this case, not-mother is the smartest person in the room.

I don't know how I manage to go on, but I had a great week at work this week, good enough that I've had "update my resume" on my to-do list now for two weeks and not done it.

I hope this explains a little of the complexity of the search for happiness as a female type person in the working world with younguns. It's probably just 1/4 of the complexity that the guys have to deal with constantly. Honestly I don't know how you walk around with those things. Really I don't.

February 06, 2005

admiration

Eric Sink has a new article out on msdn about transparency. His focus is on ISVs, which are small companies selling software directly. But should some of these
And if it weren't for the crabby office lady, I would completely agree. Look at all of Eric's rules she breaks:

"I don't want a traditional sanitized marketing voice. I want to hear real people speaking in the first person about their company and its products."

COL is not even a real person. Obviously being entertaining counts for a lot.

"I don't want to hear from people whose job it is to talk to me. I want to read stuff written by the actual developers working on the product."

It's COL's job to talk to us. And it seems relevant, and honest, not hiding anything.

My next thought is, what gives, am I just a sucker for packaged dissention, like the OK Cola marketing campaign? For while I know Eric is correct in all things, and wish nice companies like Altova would listen to him, there seems to be exceptions.

February 03, 2005

more on Microsoft the Musical

Don't cry for me Windows Media
The truth is I've never left you

(I started laughing so hard I couldn't finish

rent the upstairs of our house

It's that time of year again, where we look for renters for our upstairs. We live in the downstairs. Our current renters are moving out, thankfully for reasons of their own devising and not because we are too noisy or anything. They will even provide a reference for us.

Here's the deal. This link has pictures of the whole house, but you would have the upstairs private just for you. You can see we intended it to be the master suite, plus one extra bedroom, and we also added its own entry and a washer dryer. There's also parking and a roof deck. You have the killer view and the two person whirlpool tub. What can we say, we had taste back then. The kitchen is not a full kitchen. It's like what you would find in a wet bar, but there's a stovetop too. Don't worry, you'll be fine. You're welcome to come downstairs and throw parties or use the real oven if the spirit moves you. We're looking for 1200/month starting March 1. A couple would be great, or even a small family. And if you want your space, you can have us build a wall at the top of the stairs and have it be a real duplex. We kindof like having the stairway open, not that it ever gets used. If our kids wander up into your space they will be busted big time. This has hardly ever happened.

Anyway, take a look, if you're interested. We're out of town all weekend, but will probably get this on craigslist by next Wednesday unless we hear from you first (yes, you!)

living with the question

One thing this society does quite poorly is give people room to not have everything all figured out yet. There is a need to solve a problem, a need to move forward, and we go right into solution mode. What are the pros and cons. How can we define the problem set better. What are barriers to success with this solution as opposed to other solutions. Where is the timeline. It's in this way that we "get with the program." And it might just be that we get on a treadmill instead, to put the metaphor in its place.

What I would like to propose, and you can think about how this affects your work life and goal therein, is we all be friendlier on a personal level with the evolution of the questions themselves. For example, my own question about how to get to a target weight has evolved from "how do I weigh something in the blue zone on my doctor's chart" to 'how do I not adversely affect my life with the tension between my current and desired weight." Because if you live with the question for a while, it can change for the better.

In my workplace, I am living with the question of how, if I was hired to do xyz, do I convince everyone that doing abc will actually have the desired effect. I am trying things and listening. I am not holding a big meeting saying "We should do abc" and embarking on an internal evangelism campaign involving banners and parades. It's subversive, partly because I need to gather evidence, and partly because I don't know if I'm right. I do know, for right now, that this is the right question.

Now that I'm living with the question, I'd like to try and get it to pay some rent! (See next post)

using firefox

I have a few moments here at the internet cafe to use firefox. Here is what I've found:

* Seems to be slower than IE in returning results from a yahoo search. Also seems slower to boot initially, as well as to display the default home page (which is this cafe's page).
* The Tools... Options is nice. Great organization, good icons. Default window is provacy, wonder what made them think of that. Somewhat nonstandard + sign interface, which auto collapses when you click another +. It should be additive (otherwise you want a radio button, silly).
* What's with the javascript console having a menu item? Is this supposed to be a developer-facing app or what?
* I love the tabs. Love the rightclick... open link in new tab.

Overall, I still have to admire the movement that created this, but still question "why." Would love to understand why they would climb this mountain just because it was there. Does it do something different for users? Does it solve a specific use case? Methinks the existence of the javascript console window says it all: you won't tell the difference between firefox and ie unless you're a developer.