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September 30, 2005

smells like...

The rest of you old farts will remember that there actually was a deodorant called "Teen Spirit." This inspired the song/album/whatever. I liked Kurt's take on this. He was speaking completely from belonging to youth, and rightly claimed we cannot be institutionalized and marketed to. This was the point of grunge: rather than protest with our wallets, identifying each other as part of certain youthful social classes by purchasing certain items, we were to drop out of the financial and commercial world altogether. This had a practical application, as like others in Olympia, WA in 1991 we were astonished to pay only $60 a month in rent. The $40 left over from our minimum wage earnings would cover food, a shared phone. It was possible to live below the radar financially. Flannel was an integral part of that.

Let's take the premise that neither our nation's youth nor any demographic subset can be reduced to a fragrance. Fine. But they keep trying it. It's no secret that I shop for groceries in the poorest neighborhood here in Seattle. Scoffing at the prices at QFC and even Safeway, I head down to Ranier ave to the Grocery Outlet. If you don't buy meat or produce, it's great. Like, you now have money to move to a new apartment great. They also have the category of items called health and beauty aids. You know where I am going with this. Being the classic housewife (gakk) that I am, I stared at the choices before me for deodorant for my dh, which was responsibly on the list. Fortunately at Grocery Outlet, there were only two choices. 99cents each. The two choices were something Icy - I forget the exact description - and the other was called "Urban Spice." Yarrr. Is that the spiciness that comes from subways, that women buy expensive cologne to drown out? Or some kind of musky exhaust scent? The letters were brown, not quite as telling as you might think. Could there be a subtle racial thing happening here, flying below my radar? Either way, I did not have the confidence to uncork it in the store to test it. Icy "whatever" it must be. But some demographic, not sure quite what, was definitely reduced to a fragrance right there in the aisles of Grocery Outlet.

This time it's us girls getting a run for our pheromones. Ambition. It's a fragrance - on another deodorant, of course - for women. You know, I kindof like the idea really. That's how much kool-aid I've drunk about the career thing I suppose. Perhaps a range of other fragrances? Might I suggest:

Laundry
Help
Rested
Responsible
Status
Perfect
Accomplished
Compiles
Digitized
Gestalt
Clueful
Balanced
Please
Pretty Please

Gosh, they should pay me the big bucks for this.

September 29, 2005

why so mysterious?

Last night after cursing my aggregator I also experienced the joy of web applications. There I was using it, clickity click, when right out from under me a feature was added. Very cool. There is a little headline bar on each of the feeds I read in newsgator online. It has a number on it for number of subscribers. I assume this means number of subscribers just in newsgator, because the gloriously high number for THIS blog is 13. Probably one of them is me, so really 12.

It got me thinking about what I'm doing here, especially since I have refused to place blogads anywhere to monetize the thing, and also refused to follow all the good advice to narrow the topic to something people would search for on the web. Call it narcissistic, but the reason why I have 13 readers is, I'd like to think, they are interested in ME and not a list of books or some shoe recommendations. Not that I don't dole out both on occasion.

The real twist though, this year, is I can't talk about the thing that's really happening with regard to my happiness. That's right, I have a blog about happiness, and I have embarked on a structured endeavor towards that, which I just KNOW you all would be fascinated by. However, there was an anonymity thing about joining the program which I have to respect. Normally about this time I would rename my tagline, and this year it would be "doing xyz thing I can't talk about." It's sad, though, my 13 readers. By this time next year you will feel left behind, as if I had discovered something wonderful and had a good 1 year head start in chasing it. Well, don't hold it against me.

September 28, 2005

word of the day: nother

Curse my aggregator and smash it into a million pieces. Due to the vagaries of F5 pressing, I missed all the fun last night at the MVP fest Robert was at. I was here, working on itemizing loose ends for my job search. If that sounds cheerful rest assured it wasn't. I would have rather been kicking around the visitor center. Oh well, next time.

One thing that has happened from the MS re-org. Very few contractor positions are open right now for program manager. There would normally be more than you could shake a resume at. People seem to be hunkering down. That's bad news for me, as that line of work is my bread and butter.

I have another cattle-call style interview on Friday, this time at Amazon. Moo.

September 26, 2005

roadside epiphany

There is a list of classic first-time novelist blunders. I won't recite it because it would depress you. One relevant item is the hypothetical first-time novelist packs every idea they ever had into the novel. This I can say from personal experience actually happens. It's a little like going shopping with somebody else's money. You can list all the ideas - if you're lucky to remember them - and carefully construct a plot and characters which will house them all.

I actually don't think this is all that flawed. Snotty literary teachers might say you have to first start with characters, and let the plot fall out of that, but whatever. Who wants to look that closely at humanity anyway. What my problem was, in the above "cram in every idea" case, is I didn't have a generative storyline.

Generative is a music theory term for a type of analysis so thorough, you could follow the analysis and reconstruct the piece of music from that. The theory serves as a codec: a compressed state of the piece exists, with all the instructions there waiting to be followed. I like the word generative because it explains a test for quality which is impossible to achieve. No theory is this rich, unless the piece of music is really simple of course. 4'33" can have a precise theory that undeniably generates the piece of music again.

The opposite of generative is descriptive.

Storylines can be generative, in that all you need is that one great idea and you can hardly find something that doesn't fit. It's internally consistent in a natural way. Descriptive storylines work after the fact only. You have to go through a process of elimination, keeping only the unflawed things as part of your story, but somehow even the unflawed things (characters, ideas, twists) seem contrived. This is the true fault of the first-time novel. Every element is descriptively rather than generatively justified.

Today while driving to the Supermall I realized the one storyline - it's a little like agatha christie meets the apprentice - can encompass all the odd ideas I have kicking around, and give them a natural home. It's the place they all originally came from in the first place, and I just discovered it.

What would I do with another 10 minutes of peace and quiet? We will never know, will we?

crankiness and choice

We crawled back from the beach last night, having broken our vow to never eat THERE the entire car ride and instead eating there twice. Several times I demanded a grumpy meal. Here's what they would have:

1) Choice of beef stroganoff (for the sound of the name) or Chicken Kiev (also sounds mean, and looks like a missile too).
2) Garlic bread
3) Anchovy ceasar salad
4) Choice of Sunny-D or Fruit Punch. For that pseudo-sour acidic taste
5) Five dark chocolate liquor candies.

I caught 5 minutes of the West Wing, which is starting out slowly it seems. Not sure why all the characters have to shuffle about. Alias did it right, by just saying "We're black ops now!" and creating a new club which resolved all the differences with the fact that the characters used to be enemies. Wish the West Wing could play the black ops card and just get everyone back together so the show can start.

One thing they did have, was a blogging representative on the campaign floor. There was this short mousy girl, they didn't show her face. I hope she gets a whole episode.

This post is about beware of what you wish for. This weekend was lots of driving, but we reached the beach and it was worth it. I forget about traveling with the family - if I don't get my own personal time somewhere I start getting cranky, and it's nobody's fault. This reminds me of Julie's quote of saying it's not child rearing, it's lack of choice that makes you cranky. I'm paraphrasing, but you get the idea. 5 minutes only of west wing, no matter how much I wanted. A little tired of eating you-know-where. Our lovely and generous renters (we return to the house today) taking messages from me from future employers. It's great, but like all great things takes a while to get used to.

September 21, 2005

hey, your chocolate is in my peanut butter!

Two mutually opposing missions. (1a and 1b)

One cattle-call style job interview. (2)

No car. (3)

--------------------------------------

(1a) Mission 1a.
Catch up with Alias season 4 before Sep 29, when season 5 starts. However! The DVD does not get released until Oct, which is practically a free license via circumstance to download the episodes from a well-meaning torrent-ite. Watching video for entertainment on the computer is strange. I am constantly compelled to take a screenshot. I flip back and forth from full screen view at points I would normally close my eyes in the theater. I have an adapter for the TV, but hey, do I need it?

(1b) Mission 1b.
The house rented over the weekend. This weekend. Today, in my free time (See Mission 1a) I need to pack us all for our trip to the Oregon Coast, and get all the deritus out of the place and give it a good scrub.

(2) Job Interview
What do people get out of having us line up and interview for 1/2 hour segments? Obviously the Blink interview rules. Interviewing. That sounds fun. I'm not doing anything else today. Why not.

(3) No car
Oh. I have to ride the BUS to a job interview, in the middle of the day during non commute hours. That's fine, I wasn't doing anything. I'm glad the interview is only for 1/2 hour, I wouldn't want any more of my day taken up than that. Except, perhaps, the 2 hour commute each direction to make that 1/2 hour happen. But who's counting?

Footnote to (3)
Let me just say, the only thing sadder than taking the bus to a job interview is driving your parent's car there. Like you did when you were 16 and applying for work at the fotomat. But "needs must." (I think that's British for suck it up).

September 18, 2005

fun hotel in london

I've got to hook this girl up with Rory. Trouble is, I don't know either of them. Some of you might wonder why so many fashion blogs have shown up in my blogroll to the left recently. This blog is why: why aren't they all this good? I ask the same about tech blogs and wonder why they aren't all as good as Rory's. There's something more going on than "I work for *** and if you read my blog maybe I'll let something slip." That's a whole type of blog right there. Then there's identity blogging which provides no new information that would be publicly interesting, unless you happen to be naturally interesting as opposed to famous. We'll get to that later. Then there's the kind that La Coquette and Rory have, which is both an information source, heavily sprinkled with personality, and just a treat to read. What shall we call it. How about, "good writing?"

Anyway, fun hotel in london described at the link just above.

September 17, 2005

new target

As promised, I did get time to gather my thoughts today. Let me tell you about the graphic below.

target_fall05.jpg

This is a technique I have used in the past to align my actions to my goals. The twist is, this target diagram shows an "inside-out" type of alignment. It's not what you'd expect, which would be that the goal in the center is the primary or most rewarding goal, and the ones on the periphery were less important. Instead, the location in the target has more to do with how the value in the outside layer can possibly be generated.

Arguably, the outside layer (the white layer) is the most important. But this isn't a situation where brute force will work. You can't just say goal X is most important, and align all your actions towards that. Unless you're in pharmaceutical sales. Anyone who has attempted a job search, a marriage, or building their personal community will know otherwise. For those of us with these leaps of faith rather than goals, this target diagram shows how success in the outside layer is made possible by some of the inside layers. Yeah, just like the onion thing from Shrek. OK you can stop smirking.

Some things in the outside layer are not goals at all, but areas of emphasis. The thing I look for in choosing the contents of this outside layer is whether or not this topic is external-facing. I would never place "Learn Monad" in the outside layer, unless I was giving a speech on it, and even then it would have to be a lot of speeches. The target works for me because it shows how concepts are supported by one another, rather than the relative importance of various goals. The three choices I have made for the time being are all "gravy," not because they are superfluous, but because they are the external facing areas that I would like to emphasize, and are the payoff for working hard in the more internal areas.

The middle-inside (dark grey) layer represents a set of internal facing goals. These are the things that feed into the outer layer because, now you have something to talk about, or take a break from, or commiserate about, or a crucial experience that qualifies you to progress. For me, this middle layer is a set of projects I really really care about. But let's put them in their place. These projects, because they are internal facing, are essentially interchangeable. I could have placed any techie thing in that square, and any artistic thing in that other square. Of course I shrink with horror at the thought, but realistically I have to agree. It is very helpful to demote your projects as enablers of other things - mere pawns in your quest for the "gravy" (hope that doesn't sound gross) - and are interchangeable or even removable.

The inside of the target has 2 layers. The mercury (blue) layer I typically place 2 words that describe HOW I want to be working. These are values, or methods. More than 2 words is distracting because I want these ready at my memory banks, for when a decision comes up in daily life. If it leads me to break one of these methods, I should be making a different choice. As for my choices, you might ask? You should know: Integrity means something specific to me that is different from what you might expect, so don't get all over my grill about those corny posters at the team offsite conference room. Welcoming also has personal meaning. It speaks to having room for things, for generosity, and is the exact opposite of rigid living. Followers of this blog know that rigidity has been the daily bane and this is one way of turning that around.

The center of the target is one item that encapsulates why even bother with anything. Why get out of bed at all? What is the thing that will enable success in all other areas? The word "fontanelle" comes to mind. I have to look that one up. Last time I did this chart, the target circle had "small projects." That was an inspiring time because I only took on things that I knew I could complete in a day or so. Very exhilerating, and really busted me out of a slump. This time it's "Connectivity." That, right now, is the origin of success in other areas on the chart. I don't know what will happen, but deciding on the item to place here is an art, and I do honor my first impulse in these matters.

I will leave the content of all the regions for another post. Perhaps some of them are not blog-appropriate. But I do want to tell you about some of the subsequent analysis I did in order to see if I had a good target diagram, and whether my schedule was set up to match the spirit of what I had down.

The first thing I did was carve out some time on a calendar for each project in the middle and outer layers. I made sure the circumstances for each project would fit the task (kid-friendly? kid-free?) Then I added up the allocated hours. My target number of hours for allocated time is 24 per 5 day working week. This is 60% of a regular 40 hour working week.

For the kid-free tasks, I was doing great, if I stuck to the schedule I would be spending only 60% of that time on these tasks. I did have to trim down some of the kid-friendly tasks just so there would be less going on, in order to hit 24 hours total scheduled tasks.

Of course there is lots of vague time over the weekend and holidays, and this project was not attempting to track that.

The idea behind the 60% figure is to allow for inspiration, depth, and brilliance by not scheduling yourself into a corner. I needed to make sure the remaining 40% was truly available, and not soft time used for transportation or chores.

We will see. I'm actually less interested in achieving the 60% right off the bat. What I am interested in is giving myself a new framework for decision making and setting limits. For example, it really IS important that I get the TV hooked up to the treadmill, so I can cover both of those things at the same time.

the silent storm

There's a mentality I get into when pushing through a rough time. I accept the fact that the rough time is date driven, meaning there exists a date where it will all be over, either way. Then, I do a values check. What can I afford to sluff off on in order to make it through the push most successfully? (And by "afford" I mean not just financial but also energy, health, relationships etc.) Spending the energies from those accounts, I trample zombie-like to the finish line. Sometimes it occurs to me to hope for the day AFTER the deadline to arrive. Usually there isn't time. Then, with all the noisy priority-one characters screaming in the distance, the deadline arrives, we declare victory, and go home.

Today is the day after the deadline. So, in looking forward to this day, I didn't do such a good job in preparing for it. Things I'm noticing:
- I had NO perspective in saying yes or no to activities even yesterday. I had no idea what my regular taskload was for when the push was over. Snow blindness.
- Spinning around, always looking for the next crisis, and realizing no crisis will knock on the door labeled "crisis" like perhaps last week. So, now I have to think. Is this a crisis or not? Do I even care? Makes the whole day require higher functioning, in a way.
- The day after a deadline is a classic place for a reward. A day at the spa, a few purchases for myself and others, a nice meal at a restaurant. I see now that these are transient indulgences that do not give back, and in fact increase my sense of entitlement with regard to how much the world gives back to me. Identification of this dynamic is a big part of moving forward, but I have no plan to substitute these rewards with something else.

My task today, if I can fit it in, is to come up with this plan. Lots of dropped balls all over the place. I need to examine if they are rewarding, what the timelines are, whether this is the best time. Then maybe a small purchase ;) kidding!

Anytime I override my basic impulses, such as going into treat-mode after a climactic period of time, feels stormy to me. Thus the title of this post.

September 11, 2005

weekend update

beed-a-beep beed-a-beed-a-beep

It's been a wild week and this next one will be wilder. We clocked in our first week of two with 2 full time jobs and no daycare. I had a big meeting which was apparently controversial. Afterwards I was complimented for my poise. The truth is, that wasn't poise, I just couldn't take in any more chaos. Everything was resolved offline anyway. I said goodbye to my manager, who is off to PDC. I'm just cryin' that I can't go, but more so I'm cryin' because I've been looking a Bill and Steve on the posters every time I get off the elevator and think: maybe I will go to the company meeting this year? Things that so many blue badges blow off I would give, well, at least 10 exhausting seemingly-promising Microsoft interview loops to go to. Realistically it's too late for me to have a chance at going to the meeting this year. I will keep an eye on PDC from the net, like most people wondering what the big scoop is. "Bigger than Office using XML?" I assume bigger, but my mind can't imagine. I need a new axis, other than Z, to contemplate. The AA axis. Sounds like batteries. Or bras. Hey, what sort of coincidence is that, anyway.

But on to other wild things that happened, I attended a men's acapella group performance at MS with my oldest son, sat next to someone I knew, and felt right at home. We laughed and laughed and then quickly ran so I could go to my job. It was cowboy festival time in Sammamish, so in classic form, the morale event shows up right as the paycheck goes away. But it sure ended the week with a bang. Back in 1997 I attended a morale event on a boat in Elliott Bay with my team. We were laid off the next week. I love morale events. I would like to throw my own one day. It will be completely demoralizing and nobody will lose their job. I think that's a great plan.

I talked with another friend yesterday about making ends meet, and the envelope system. It strikes me that not everybody knows what the envelope system is. I should go into more detail sometime. It's just a tool.

Crammed in there was the Women In Games International conference sponsored by Microsoft. I attended just as a lark. I do love the games but as a creator, not as a player. I talked with some great people a little too much, and had the feeling I wish I could have taken back the last 10 years and stayed in gaming. It was the least clique-like, most friendly game conference I've attended. We will see.

Today, ordinary stuff. A surprisingly successful pot roast. A failed mandatory nap. Watching the "Celtic Girls" with my 1.5 year old, he was all over the pretty sopranos. Feeling the comforts of home sink into me, holding me there, despite all indication to the contrary that I am, in fact, not held there and can easily be blown away.

Lots of new subscriptions, esp scalzi who wrote so succinctly on poverty.

September 09, 2005

reaching the new adopter group for calendars

It can be a very murky world working on a software product. Calendaring is a great example. Lots of competitors, tough challenges, no interoperability, and many frowny-face emoticons to overcome. When attacking a problem like this, I look for a slicing concept. This is the kind of concept that divides the murky space into oil and vinegar. Once you have your slice, you will have your feature set. What's more, you will have a framework for making decisions about new features. Oil? Vinegar? Can't be both. If it's the Vinegar release then you've got it made, you don't even have to have a meeting about it. The feature's in.

Let's talk about some assumptions about the calendar space, and why it's so hard to prioritize the features. One assumption - which I completely agree with - is the next wave of this technology will be supported by new adopters of the technology. This "new adopters" group - the ones with the sticky notes and the day planners today - will be the ones championing the technology tomorrow. Even more importantly is the converse: if we don't bring on the new adopters as our key champions, as our core base, then any new wave of technology will be short lived, or (worse) unnoticed. These people are the key. That's the first assumption. The next assumption is that you would like to prioritize features that will have the effect of reaching these new adopters. By "reaching" I mean turning them into rabid, drooling evangelists indistinguishable in chat rooms from MVPs. By "reaching" I mean in a religious way. That's the second assumption.

To summarize: we want these folks, and we want them to be thrilled. Let's prioritize the thrilling stuff, shall we?

Without our slicing concept, our task of prioritization is swimming in the murkiness that will sound very familiar. Should we fix time zones? Recurrences? How about developing an industry-wide standard for synching protocols. Can we come up with reminders that actually don't fire on device 2 if you have already dismissed them on device 1? What about publishing and privacy. Already our cute, friendly, and well-meaning calendar application that we wanted people to write sonnets about in their spare time has turned into a journey into the center of the earth. A feature meeting ensues. One person thinks the Gregorian calendar is for weenies. Another wants military time. It's hard to say which of these is more important. Certainly both seem broken. But fixing both will only make sure customers don't feel pain when encountering these edge cases, they won't name their firstborns after the application if you fix them. I'm not saying don't fix them, I'm saying that there is not yet a slicing concept that gives you a solid framework for decision making.

Let's try out a couple of slicing concepts and see how they work. Repeat after me. "The murky world of calendar application development can be clarified by dividing all potential new features into a) competitors have it / don't have it, or b) it's a bug fix / it's an innovation."

A) Competitors. Right now there are lots of big names in the calendar space. Apple. Outlook. Yahoo. MSN. There are web apps like Trumba and EVDB. Chandler is in there somewhere. The matrix will show a certain level of base offerings (such as: ability to enter an event) and then the checkmarks for the matrix start getting a ragged edge when the features get more advanced (such as: invite friends, or sync to device). A new product, or a new release of a product, could decide that this competitive matrix was the driving mechanism behind the feature set. For this new product, every box below the deep water mark must be filled in. If the other guys have it, we need it too. The trouble is, this type of reactionary product design will get you more bugs, more features to support, and a diluted fan base who doesn't know if you're a business or consumer app. (And no, the answer isn't "we're both business and consumer!") So, competitive matrix fails as a useful slicing concept.

B) Bug fix or Innovation. This one is pretty tempting. You line up the world of calendaring and take an honest look at what parts are broken. Yes, recurrence is buggy. So are time zones. Inviting people outside of your walled garden has its flaws. For a whole set of features like this, which have become standard calendar fare, the polish has not gone into them because the consumer demand is not there to fix this. How many iCal invites have I received via e-mail that I have been unable to import into my web calendar? Yes, the problems are hard, but the real reason why they haven't been fixed is a chicken and egg problem. There is not a clamoring of demand for these features, because - get this - the people using these features are not running households. Households are still run on sticky notes. Even in the workplace, above a certain level an executive will get an admin to run their calendar. The data in the calendar files themselves is stale and painstakingly entered if it gets there at all. So fixing bugs, while admirable, does not slice up this murky space in a useful direction. What you would have is a bug-fix release that would benefit a few.

Now, Innovation (this is still part of slicing mechanism B), is an interesting way to look at the feature set. It's a simple question, does it innovate beyond the current expected baseline for a calendar application? A product doing an "innovation" release would have perhaps thin coverage on the competitive matrix, and thin coverage on bug fixes, but a big spike in depth on one or two innovations. Some example innovations: Layering of calendars. Sharing and publishing. Integration with location awareness.

But let's back up a bit. How do we know which innovation to choose? After all, if people are going to laugh at us anyway for not fixing time zones this time around AGAIN, what can we possibly give them that will be such a WOW that this won't matter? And the head scratching continues. For while we would all like to innovate, the real motivation behind using the bug fix / innovation slicing concept to drive your feature set is to not have people (like Walt Mossberg) laugh at you. again. And to be honest, that's no way to get dressed in the morning.

So thus far we've had a couple of slicing concepts fall flat. When push came to shove, we were unable to use them to generate the feature set for our new calendar application. We could choose one, or combine a couple, or do a focus group. Those at least seem like rational acts. But, getting the new adopters to fall in love with our application will not be a rational act. We will have to romance them, by giving them everything they want and more, and eliminating all barriers to adoption. Not only will this be painless, it will be a thrill. It's just a small step to love from that point.

I present to you, the slicing concept useful for prioritizing the feature set of a new calendar application: Will it reach the new adopters?

Let me elucidate more on who the new adopters are. These are folks right now not using digital calendars. They live on sticky notes on the fridge, dayplanners, or printouts from their admin. The problem isn't that they don't use calendars, or don't use OUR calendar. The problem is that the information is not digital. This is where all the other slicing mechanisms fall flat. What does it matter if the time zone converts backwards to the wrong day, if the information isn't digital in the first place? What does it matter if it can be published, or synced, or burned onto a gold LP record and sent to Alpha Centauri if it isn't digital in the first place? The digitization process is just too hard. This is the pain point that the next killer calendar application will eliminate. Data entry at the computer. Data entry at the telephone pole, looking at the poster. Data entry at school or in the car. Data entry at point of use, which is the point where the event is actually discovered (or, likely, discovered to be changed). Once the data is digital, the other features start to matter.

Another reason why the clamoring hasn't happened, the throngs of people demanding us to fix recurring once and for all for example, is that customers have not been given the candy. Some pain with data entry might even be acceptable if users understood that they would be soon treated to something new. This is where innovations such as publishing a calendar fall short of the dreams people have for their time. The real use for calendaring is to make room for success. To align your activities to make success inevitable. To solve problems. To become a better person. To give friends, family, and important events their just planning and respect. This is power.

I think the candy that users are missing, the candy that would make all the data entry and smart-synch worth it, would be an advanced visualization tool that would allow analysis and problem solving from a time perspective. A new adopter would be able to say "I had no idea how much time I was spending doing XYZ every day. Now that I have this (new feature), I am able to get my MBA and stay married. Thank you, (new product)!" Corny, but think about what quicken did to broaden the horizons of people's finances. There's e-mail and communication, arguably a way to visualize communication asynchronously. Calendar visualizations could really take off in an empowering way.

My point is not that this specific feature needs to be written, but that calendar applications need to get out of their murky space, where it is impossible to prioritize one feature above another. They need a great slicing concept, and the current ones are failing. It is not working to achieve parity with the competition, or to fix a certain number of bugs, or to ship a certain type of innovation that should have been shipped years ago. Although that's a start. Really, the focus needs to be on these new adopters: digitizing information, and rewarding them once it is there. Take away the pain, and hand out the candy. A release like that would make it super easy to determine which features should make it in, and which are better solved over time.

September 08, 2005

2 types of down

Sometimes I think it's only Hugh out there who understands what it means to be down. His specialty of down is the unjustifiably down, the type of down that does not point to an external cataclysmic event. There is the unbearable suffering where the random event is definitely not your fault, and then there is just suffering. For the second kind, in fact, it might very well be your fault. I am very familiar with this dynamic.

Oh, well, off to fat camp.

September 07, 2005

celebration of specialness

Yesterday I was faced with a tough choice. I believe I mentioned I had packed my calendar to the gills. While self immolation might be all well and good, it's quite another thing when it affects other people. So, I had to scale back, and in a way that didn't make me grumpy either. (Because if I was going to be grumpy I might as well go ahead and do everything and not get any sleep, same diff). I pared down the schedule, not as much as I would have liked, but down to, say, the awful stuffed feeling of a fast food value meal as opposed to the awful stuffed feeling after eating two. (Under duress, you might imagine).

But what did I use to make these decisions? My blog! Yes fans, this very weblog provided me with the guidance I needed. I checked out my "Living Differently" post, and realized despite all rumors that life is short, live it up, etc, that in fact life is long and there will be time for everything in sequence not in parallel. (If life turns out to be short after all then please come over and smack me one.)

When young - I mean super-young, like 12, as opposed to the young that I am right now - I believed I would do more than the simple stuff that everyone else does. I had no idea how challenging the simple stuff was. This category included a job, a home, maybe marriage and kids, friends and family. It didn't have any of what I considered "special," such as becoming an entrepreneur or an author, a source of coveted dinner party invitations, world traveler, musician, lover, and muse. When young I was devoted to including only special things, seeking them out, and the rest I figured I could count on.

What an idiot.

I keep going back to the one phrase, which I can't attribute to anyone specific but it came in general from watching too much Oprah while nursing circa 2000. "It's just as hard to become an ordinary person as it is to be an extraordinary person." And so this ordinary person I became, with all the consummate challenges similar in effort and scope to all the special things I mention above.

The reason why I'm into calendaring, is I believe it is one of the most life-changing tools at your disposal. It is the fallow ground, the natural resource, the representation of your time. Snipping things off of it - especially the "special" category - is painful, but not as bad as actually going and doing everything. That's the trick right there.

Current priorities: the classics: job, marriage, kids. Current mental state: rising above the whiny 12 year old who thought the special things were somehow better, more virtuous, more self-actualized etc. This is false. All that stuff is more connected than that. Plus, little girl, I'll get around to it. Really. Now go to bed.

September 03, 2005

Go Jeremy! Woot!

This is regarding the "dealing with my past" point I alluded to a few days ago. Jeremy brings it up succinctly.

Why is "taking over the user's computer" so closely associated with "customer profiling?" Because an organization that will let one happen, will let the other happen too.

I would love to consult with any company that is interested in moving off the Shame List and onto the Angel List.

The Shame List:
* Long Privacy Policies
* Opt-Out Customer Profiling
* Major "sell" of ad revenue being this aforementioned profiling
* No customer benefit for the profiling. No, ads are not a benefit.
* Customer has weak understanding of what the client side bits do.
* Trojan horse approach: baiting customers with new features while quietly installing opt-out type platforms
* Changing system settings
* No straightforward way to interact with the user during install, so the user gives up and says "OK do what you want" (default).
* Makes the "free" link hard to find, and takes the customer's money for something they could do for free.
* Worse, that transaction is set up to recur.

Angel List
* Value is increasing to the user as they use the product. Value does not necessarily increase on the company's side as the user uses the product, other than perhaps a happy user.
* Short privacy policy.
* Does not use the phrase "personally identifiable information." Did you know your zip code is not PII? Did you know that you, the user, are not in control of what constitutes PII from day to day, and this can change without the text in privacy policies changing?
* Does not make the error of saying "We don't send any PII" when in fact this information is sent, only in numerical and hashed form. Ha-ha we fooled you. Not.
* Does not confuse the user with profiling being done only in "aggregate." To get the aggregate, you have to add up individual profiles, right? Fancy statistical language does not change that I used valuable bits and bandwidth on my side to give you MY profile, no matter what you did with it.
* Picks a good time for the user to upgrade their systems. Such as, USER INITIATED. What a concept. Here's a hint: startup is a really bad time. Just connected to TCP/IP is a really bad time. How fast can I say "No, Thanks." How fast can a company lose a customer?
* Gives the user complete control over any reminders, prompts, and dialogs. The tactic of bringing up a reminder until they submit is not used.

September 01, 2005

news blackout ended

At the Grigg household, the news is the source of annoying commercials during the Simpsons or Malcolm. Often the news is scary. I proclaim that none of it is true. "That news," I say, "What a bunch of jokers. They're just making the whole thing up." I wasn't so much believed, as mocked, but hey, anything to get the general tone of disdain for the media rallied up seems like a good move, in a blue state sort of way.

However, this week I'm using the news as a source of information. My family is scandalized at my behavior. You can't make fun of what we're looking at. Also I have to backtrack on my entire point, because I am actually watching the news, instead of jumping up 10 seconds before the blaring trumpets assault my ears with their supposed newsworthiness.

Some lighter things filter in amongst the heavy stuff. Stone Phillips got a haircut. It's a lot better. He still moves like Max Headroom, him and Maria Schriver are related, aren't they? Brian Williams has a really odd suntan that forgot the valleys on either side of his nose. What's up with that, mister fake and bake? But what can you do.

The one thing that nobody seems to notice among replaying all the footage is: there is definitely a racial element here to a) whether or not these people were evacuated, and b) their own level of rage coming off of what they must perceive as our continual abandonment of them. Perhaps there is no conclusion to draw at all, but I am here to say that race was a factor in both the decision and ability to leave, as well as driving the boiling pot of water people feel themselves immersed in right now. Some might say it is economic, and that's possible too. I saw one white girl, in anguish, claiming intellectually as I would have undoubtedly in her position that it's neither race nor poverty that describes these refugees, they are simply people. Having the luxury of food and water at the moment, I have to say from my vantage point that I see all three.

But hey, I was watching the news. What do they know.

As a child I used to dream of flooding in the streets. I thought it would be wonderful, that we'd be able to leap out our second story windows onto boats we had tied there, and row our way along. Like Venice, I suppose, except I thought it was my idea and nobody had done this before. I told my folks about this great idea that I hoped would happen and they were horrified. Very odd reaction, I thought.

The main piece of knowledge I wanted from the news coverage was something I did not get. I want to know: what is keeping the aid from the people. If the aid is on trucks, how can we get it on helicopters. Are there not enough helicopters? Is there a lack of aid, or are boxes piling up at some onforseen and un-reported-on natural blockade. Do we just not know where people are? Are there not enough people to unload things? What about boats, is this completely crazy, but can we send boats with supplies to affected areas? I understand the communication breakdown and the power outages etc. I don't understand how we haven't delivered yet. Lots of people cry "We are Americans" and "Help" and us observers don't get the information about why this anger and abandonment must continue.

But of course, getting us landlubbers information is the lowest priority.

This will be a long time healing. I will need to explain the scary images and why I am compelled to follow them via television. I hope the scary images will fade.

Meanwhile, I will have to step up personally as the source of misinformation in the Grigg household. Yesterday I explained that since a certain person raided his alternate toy bin in the basement (we have toys on rotation), the baby slugs are very sad. Now he has to give a present to the baby slugs for taking away their Xwing. They liked their Xwing, they could fit right inside the cockpit and have a great time. Now what will they play with? So now we are buying presents for slugs, in the kind of odd activity brought on by inability to make a difference someplace else. I'm just so sorry this had to happen to people.

UPDATE: Lots of people organizing to give money, but what I have is my voice, oblique as it may be. Less oblique are the observances of the Times-Picayune who had better get a Pulitzer for their trouble after all this.