elizabeth grigg - the other fourth meal

Of course you all know that our house is still slowly murdering us, right? At this point it has transitioned from physical attacks to financial, which in fact is not any different after all. At one point in my childhood, I think it was when they tore down all those nice old houses on 15th Ave E across from volunteer park to make "condos" (first time I had heard the word), I decided that anyone who gives up on a house is lazy. Giving up on a house includes selling it or tearing it down, etc. However, the truth is, each person, each marriage, has maybe one house in them to remodel, and if you have already done yours you have a coldness around your heart that says... goody! condos! no roof to fix! And by thinking that you are condemned by 6th graders walking by said condos dragging their bass clarinets (in their coffinlike black cases) to school behind them on the pavement (making an ill-advised scraping sound as they pass). Condemned, I say. It seemed that around 1981, 15th Ave E and Galer plumb ran out of marriages.

At some point I was handed the link to these folk's site. I can't quite remember if my dh works with one of them, or if they live in our neighborhood, or both. I think both. Anyway I loaded up the site again tonight and am in complete agony reading the torture. And like childbirth there is no running away. You are the one owning this house that is killing you, and you will be the one to write the check with the zeros and the more zeros and then live in your parent's house anyway. You will be the one suspending all expectation for immediate enjoyment of any dollar you might have. The kicker for me is: I don't know why we expect these old houses to have been built so damn well they don't need to be torn down in 100 years. You wouldn't expect a car to last 100 years? And people say: they don't make them like this anymore, and tap the walls like you would a very large football player. The fact is, they did not know how to make a modern house in 1910. They knew how to make a wooden castle like thing out of old growth. More of a fort, really. That's what they knew how to make. But plumbing? electrical? indoor bathroom? indoor KITCHEN? That was for the servants to worry about. The house we live in EXPECTS SERVANTS. Which explains a lot about my own attitude, especially if architecture affects us the way the chinese know it does.

The real kicker, the thing that makes me really mad is that I was personally tricked into thinking that pouring several life savings' into a single structure was in any way worth it, was somehow noble and traditional, would get me into seattle democrat heaven or something. it's just wrong and I would like a condo now please and my money and sanity back. Which is not going to happen.

sigh.

Of course I like my house just fine, and if I did not deserve the agony it gave us I also arguably did not deserve for it to triple in value over that period of time. But the fact is, once you go there, once you remodel one of these old neglected creatures you can never do it again. Not if you have been really burned. Serial remodelers house-flipper types simply don't get very burned.

Anyway, enjoy the read.

Posted by Elizabeth Grigg at 09:50 PM | Permalink

Realizing today that our old friend Jack Bauer might be great material for some jokes. Beyond making fun of the actor's name, that is. When your mom names you after a slavic yogurt drink you have to wonder what nicknames she had in mind. The big yogurt. Yo, man. Acid off of us. Go cover a raisin, why don't you, son. That's the way.

At any rate.

Q: How many Jack Bauers does it take to screw in a light bulb. (I'm still working on this one).

A: A possibiity: One to torture the bulb, another to file an investigation, and Chloe.

Q: What does Jack Bauer want on his spaghetti?

A: meetBALL, meetBALL, meetBALL, meetBALL.

Yes that one translates into text horribly. Let it be known that I do a great imitation of the little electronic heartbeat thing. The unfortunate thing is, I have been trying out Jott, and waiting for a good idea to run through the service. The first thing that comes to me is an audio sound effect pun. Sigh.

Posted by Elizabeth Grigg at 08:31 PM | Permalink

Let's be completely fair. I don't own a scale. So the previous number was a guess. This one is real (Thanks Ponzi).

My fingers are tired from typing all day. Otherwise I would update you on Northern Voice, which was the most alive I've felt in months, and that's either sad or nice depending on how blog-centric you are.

Today I want to note about a thing in O magazine. Which I read, after I've read everything else in the world, which is often. Anyway, the first 1/2 of the mag is meta info. It's like having an about box on a piece of software that has more functionality than the software itself. At any rate, there was a "men of oprah" where those poor guys obviously were spending 99% of their energy not being weird about that. One even said something along the lines of "the people who work here are great - and not one of them knows how to upload a file to an FTP server!" Not sure how many layers to unpeel on that one. Let me try. (btw, ouchy fingers)

1) FTP IS HARD!!!! Really, if you don't do it all the time, it can be really hard. Then it can fail for no reason, the file can corrupt, there's the txt or binary to consider, mac or pc, it's out of control.

2) Computers should be easy, and the savvy person expects computers to be easy. It is actually savvy to be a luddite. Technology is there for the thing you are doing, not for its own sake. If you're shy about technology, you need to first respect it, and then show it the business end of a rolled up newspaper.

3) Why is there so much overlap between the personal improvement crowd and the technology crowd in real life, but so little overlap in the media? Which makes me think the man's comment is false... statistically how can this be so?

Posted by Elizabeth Grigg at 04:35 PM | Permalink

I just signed up for traineo.com which is a web 2.0-ish social weight loss and fitness site. After an intial compare with fitday.com it seemed worth the first try. Every little bit helps, and while I don't think this site will be the cornerstone of any progress I end up making, it may be something that helps.

One of the most powerful things about traineo is the motivators idea. Motivators are people who help you along and who know you. At least that is how they are described. I have been too shy to invite someone to be my motivator yet. With a quick search of the available traineo folks in Seattle it seems there is only a small set of folks signed up for traineo at the moment. They seem to be in the tech industry, lots of men, disproportionately high than usual weight loss scenarios. Many names ringed a bell for me and I had to struggle where I had heard of them before. That was all very distracting. Took some time. Your experience may vary.

For now, simply entering my current weight and my target weight, and the latest date I would stand arriving at that weight, I realized this was close to a pound a day. So, the goal is completely unrealistic, unsustainable, and impractical. I would like to get a motivator to help me get to a realistic goal instead of this nutty one. The thing that continues to sap my happiness is that I have yet to meet a realistic goal that seemed worth pursuing. Sigh.

One of the things that happens with my body is I tend to lose pounds when I stop exercising. Then there's a crossover point with no exercise where I have lost muscle and I stop burning idle calories as fast, which is the point when the pounds come back and then I am in a real mess. The reverse is also a problem, I can eat right and exercise and gain weight even when getting compliments. No wonder I don't own a scale - but the traineo site is tracking this number, thus wrapping me into the evil web the scale weaves. Come to think of it, it will be hard to use traineo without a bathroom scale.

Another tough thing that haunts my relationship with the "number" is the recent discovery that I am 5 foot 8 after all, not 5 foot 11 as I have always thought throughout my adult life. This means there are people at my goal weight who think they are fat. Oh, the insult, the indignity. Three more inches and 175 is skinny no matter which way you're looking. Three more inches and my BMI is lots more tolerable. Three more inches and I am out of the government issued red zone. However, those three inches were a fantasy and always were. I'm not shrinking - my bones are fine - I checked.

And a nod to Jason, who gets credit for the title of this post, despite the aforementioned evil web of the numbers game. (Perhaps at a spunky 175, I will think the numbers have tons of credibility).

Posted by Elizabeth Grigg at 10:43 PM | Permalink

I drew the line tonight. I am not drinking THAT. I may pour it on some cheap discount Safeway london broil, mixed with olive oil, balsamic vinegar, and bbq sauce, and let it sit for a few days. but I won't drink it from a glass. (OK, we have broken all our wine glasses, technically it's a mug.) I opened a new bottle right away - something different - and with one sip... Aaahh, that's what all the fuss is about.

Right now I'm watching "The Shape of Things" because it was not visually offensive like everything else on at the moment. It has turned rather intense. The whole "what is art" manipulation question has come up. Also at the same time I'm reading Jen Zug's inspirational posts on her marriage. Something is curious in my head, rambling, but also needing a vacation. My big worry is the need for vacation is insatiable.

Anyway. I can't stand the yahoo TV guide. It's too snazzy and not practical enough. It assumes my computer is far more advanced than it is. Yet I keep coming back. Silly Web 1.0 pageview logic.

We were all sick this week, like most of the universe. I took an actual sick day to stay home and be sick. The house is still closing in on me. Today, still sleeping most of the day, not doing chores.  Big consequences soon on that one. It will be an intense week, social events, a full workweek. March looks intense too. I may not have many spoons left. Yet I am grateful for what I do have, the minor glittering jewel of the opportunity to change my experience of each moment. Right now, the opportunity is a cheap $99 "I'm sorry" ring, but it will be a showstopper very soon.

Posted by Elizabeth Grigg at 10:14 PM | Permalink

Today I needed a brain-dead task to keep me company while I fight off this virus. Online mattress research won out. In reading a review of an Ikea mattress I realized I had found a gem of an essay on what it is like to live with physical limitations. It was so good I had to pause the tape of desperate housewives I was watching.

It seems we all live within some sort of limitation. We are dealt a number of spoons and when they're gone, they're gone. It is an expansive and seductive thought to think that one person's financial constraint is another person's concentration problem, and a third person's physical illness. This expansiveness, the temptation to think we are all the same in this way, is a fallacy. Physical illness does put people in an "other" category of limitation not normally inhabited by the rest of us. Until you have walked in their shoes it is a fallacy to think they can get over this the way you get over a smaller than normal latte budget for the week. Illness is unique because the opposite of illness - health - also contains the amnesia of any previous illness. Healthy people can forget that they were ever ill. They often do, in a pattern similar to second-time mothers forgetting the pain of labor. It's almost as though the pain no longer computes, no longer registers. Empathy has disappeared because we cannot remember how, when we were ill, we had to measure every step or breath. The amnesia that comes with being healthy separates us from those struggling with illness. Those camps who are limiting calories or money spent have much in common with each other, and in fact can glean the "human experience" from those commonalities. It's just not fair to lump all limitations together. 

Although I believe and understand that physical illness is unique, I may still use the image of the spoons to describe any limitation I am working with to those who have a need to know. I historically have a hard time communicating my own limits, and appreciate the help. See if you get spooned sometime!

Posted by Elizabeth Grigg at 02:08 PM | Permalink

Back when I attended MindCamp last Fall - it seems like such a short time ago - I heard a 5 minute lightning talk from Jack Huang which inspired me to share this idea with him. I post this e-mail exchange here with his permission. (Yes, I re-threaded the mail so the most recent is last. The trouble I go through for you!)

Unfortunately I will be unable to attend tonights "Ignite Seattle" which promises to include more of the same. Tuesdays are my nights to support the rock band by staying home with the kids. If you are available, you should go!

-----Original Message-----
From: Elizabeth Grigg [mailto:egrigg9000@yahoo.com]
Sent: Sunday, February 04, 2007 3:21 PM
To: jack at digio.com
Subject: your 5 minute mindcamp pitch

Jack - do you remember your pitch at Mindcamp? It was rather late. It had
something to do with restaurants, correct? Let me know if you have written
this up somewhere, I would like to comment.

----- Original Message ----
From: Jack Huang <jack at digio.com>
To: Elizabeth Grigg <egrigg9000@yahoo.com>
Sent: Sunday, February 4, 2007 9:22:09 PM
Subject: RE: your 5 minute mindcamp pitch


Hi Elizabeth,

The UFO restaurant is an idea I've dreamt about for awhile now. I have not
post it any where, but Mindcamp felt like a good crowd so I blurp it out.

The idea is really simple, I want to design and create a fleet of UFO
spaceships, each with a different visual style, cuisines and staff.

Business arrangement wise, it would work very much like the Funfairs that
travel around the mall parking lots.  The "set" will be designed to be
assembles and reassembled.  But all the "rides & activities" will be
contained inside the spaceship, with a little bit of dinner theater and
whole lot theme restaurant stuff, with robots, alien outfit and all things
Sci-Fi.

Being an UFO and all, the restaurant's "marketing" website will track the
UFO sightings in tabloid theme, and people can post pictures of their
experiences at the spaceship restaurants. Being a game designer, I would
naturally create some Alternate Reality games to go along with this.

I envision the arrival of each UFO as an event people will look forward to,
and hopefully, will want to have the experience of boarding every UFO when
they "land" in a mall near them.

Since I am not wealthy enough simply do this, by sharing the idea, I hope
that someone who is able will love it as I do, and they would allow me to
participate in making this idea a reality...

Jack Huang
http://www.jackhuang.com


----- Original Message ----
From: Jack Huang <jack at jackhuang.com>
To: egrigg9000@yahoo.com
Sent: Sunday, February 4, 2007 10:41:55 PM
Subject: UFO restaurants


Hi Elizabeth,

I have not posted that idea anywhere, just got into the mood at Mindcamp and
decided to share. I wish I had the funds and the connections to make
something like that happen.

I have many versions of it in my head, including UFO pods, which are
basically huts all dressed up. The idea is to basically replace those
Funfairs with something with an UFO theme, add some dinner theater, sprinkle
of Vegas and add bunch of Sci-Fi activities/games.

So what did you have in mind?


-----Original Message-----
From: Elizabeth Grigg [mailto:egrigg9000@yahoo.com]
Sent: Monday, February 05, 2007 11:37 AM
To: jack at digio.com
Subject: Re: your 5 minute mindcamp pitch

Hi Jack,

After some searching around this morning, it turns out I have not posted
this idea anywhere either. It seems to me like we have ideas with about 85%
overlap however without reducing the originality of either side. Here is
what I had initially.

The world's first artificial revolving restaurant

Name of Restaurant: "As If"
Location: A small town on the I-5 corridor, easy to get to by car, but car
required. Should be a destination restaurant, people will drive to get
there.
Property Requirements: Large footprint parking lot. Existing restaurant
roughly in the middle of the lot. Ideal building would be circular, such as
the Denny's built in the 1960s with the butterfly roof. Other businesses on
the street should be similarly desolate, lumber stores, fabric stores, gas
station.
Decor from outside: Boarded up. Sign with the name of restaurant falling
into disrepair. Floodlights into the parking lot for safety, but the place
otherwise looks like a secret. Open sign on the front door has no
credibility, but people will open it anyway.
Type of food: Family fare. This means you can take your Dad here for his
birthday (think Daniel's Broiler) without requiring your unemployed little
brother to work extra hours (think Tacos Guaymas). The food is not themed in
any way. The consistent quality of each dish combined with the variety of
prices is what makes the food unique.

The Experience:

    Roger has family coming in from out of town and is tired of the trouble
and expense of showing people the Space Needle. His friend gave him a
recommendation to this place in Sedro Woolley (?) that nobody knows about,
saying it looks closed from the outside, but those who are in the know will
have a tremendous time. When the day comes, Roger packs his family in the
car and heads over.

    Upon Roger's approach to the restaurant's address, his family is
skeptical that this is even the place. They are pretty sure they will all be
eating at the Outback Steakhouse they saw at the mall on the way up. The
street looks like it has been economically depressed for years. There is a
restaurant at the address, which might have served blue collar workers back
in the 1960s when the plant was still running. Now, the neon sign is dark,
occasionally sparking part of the scrolled f in the "As If" name's retro
font. But there are cars in the lot, some of them new, some of them with out
of state plates. They park and walk to the front door.

    The restaurant entrance has the standard glass doors coated with
metallic sunscreen decals. One of the doors says "Open" using one of the
classic restaurant signs... the "for business" is in smaller font below.
Newspaper stands crowd both sides of the walkway, but they are empty. The
names of the newspapers do not ring a bell... Gamma Quadrant Quarterly etc.
Roger opens the door for his family and they stand in the foyer, the room
customarily placed in 60s-era restaurants which is in between the first and
second set of doors. A person resembling a bellhop blocks their entry
through the second glass doors.

"Dining on Epsilon 7 tonight sir?" he asks.
"Uh, yeah," says Roger, looking at his family with contained glee. He knew
something was going to happen but he did not quite know what. His family
still looks suspicious.

    The bellhop opens a panel on the wall and presses a button which causes
a lurching noise. The ground beneath them quavers a bit. As the lights in
the foyer begin to dim, the appearance on the walls change to simulate the
elevator rising into the air. The feeling is something like the Haunted
House in disneyland, except done with actual video. Acceleration off the
ground is slow, so that the family can get their bearings. They can see
their car shrinking smaller and smaller beneath them. They quickly rise
through the clouds and then as soon as the outline of planet Earth is
evident, the windows transform to a view similar to "hyperspace" which
should communicate to the family that they are truly off the grid. Then,
with a second lurch, the windows lock on a few planets, an unfamiliar solar
system, and spaceships zooming about. The bellhop opens the second set of
doors and lets the family enter the restaurant.

    Despite the fact that the restaurant is planted firmly on earth, all
appearances are to the contrary. It is as if the space needle was truly an
appendage of a viable space station, complete with revolving restaurant at
the top. Windows circle the perimeter each showing one segment of the
picture of the space scene outside the windows. Next to the windows are a
series of high-backed leather booths, perfect for quiet conversation, yet
each large enough to sit 6. Linen napkins await, and the air of elegance
puts even Roger's most skeptical family at complete ease. They choose a
booth near one of the rings of a nearby planet. As they sit, their planet
moves slowly out of view because the restaurant is revolving. Placemats for
the kids indicate the location of various attractions outside the window. An
occasional alien does a doughnut around the whole place. Roger's dad orders
a drink and a steak. All is well.

Variations:
One of the biggest benefits to "As If" is that is is more of a platform than
anything else. Because the video screens surround the restaurant itself, the
theme can change as the owners see fit. The restaurant's content can be
altered to show anything. Some ideas:
* InnerSpace. Instead of taking an elevator, the family is shrunk to the
size of a gluon and is placed in an exotic post-newtonian world
* Safari. A wild and sometimes gory african animal scene keeps restaurant
goers on their toes the entire evening
* Travel. Existing places in the world which would never have a revolving
restaurant, such as the top of the eiffel tower, now can.
* Underwater.
* Volcano.
* Springfield, USA (for an enormous gratuity, of course)

Thoughts?

- EG

----- Original Message ----
From: Jack Huang <jack at digio.com>
To: Elizabeth Grigg <egrigg9000@yahoo.com>
Sent: Thursday, February 8, 2007 7:24:33 PM
Subject: RE: your 5 minute mindcamp pitch


Your idea is like a portal to new and changing experiences, you are taking
the customer to "it".  Mine is more like a traveling event, I would bring
"it" to the customer.

Your idea is more focus on satisfying the mystery of unknown expectations.
Mine is focused on fulfilling our expectations of mysterious life forms.

Other than that, our ideas have similar target audience, which are more for
town folks, and to bring unique dining experiences to them.  

For mine, it really doesn't even have to be a restaurant.  Just bunch of
carnival snack food and rides/experiences.

Good stuff,


Jack Huang
http://www.jackhuang.com (Resume)
http://www.takeitpocket.com (Invention)
http://www.knowcancer.org (Passion)
http://www.jackhuang.com/ai (TV Show)

Posted by Elizabeth Grigg at 09:57 AM | Permalink

My plans, every evening, are to eat my vegetables and get on with something artistic. Tonight is no exception despite a wicked headcold and a vhs copy of last night's 24 calling to me. On Tuesdays I have the kids to myself so there is that obstacle as well. Nevertheless I was able to revel in some wonderful dishes so I simply must brag and share.

1) Squash pancake. This is adapted from Deborah Madison's Squash "pancake" with mozarella and sage. My dh ate all the mozarella before I could get my hands on it, but it came out fine with some trader joe's parmesano reggiano. I cooked the squash yesterday, so today all there was to do was sizzle the sage in butter, fry up the squash a bit (browner is better), and top with the cheese. It did not achieve pancake consistency but I was very happy with it.

2) Beet salad. This, also, is an adaptation from Deborah Madison's beet "caviar." I glanced over the recipe instructions and realized I was way over my head. All I did was cut up the beet (also cooked yesterday), and added things approximately the same color as Deb recommended. She said parseley, I had cilantro. She said goat cheese and I had bleu. She said red onion and I had white. I dressed with olive oil kosher salt and pepper and was amazed. This stuff is worth every stain on your shirt.

You might be wondering what this new vegetable and liquor diet might be, and whether it can work for you. Well, I can't really tell you what it is, and it likely will NOT work for you, so there you have it straight. However, should you wish to simulate this effort, here is what you do:

1) Order an organic vegetable box to arrive at your home weekly.

2) Commit to eating every food in that box as your dinner. Family cooking pasta? You cook squash. Family cooking pizza? You have collard greens. You just don't eat the sludge we put in ourselves usually and instead eat from stuff that came in your box.

3) A cookbook helps but don't get too hung up on it.

4) All condiment - quanitity additional ingredients are allowed. As long as you put away your box each week, you're fine. Go nuts with the nuts.

5) Does eating inside the box make you feel grumpy and deprived? Well, the first thing to do is to find better recipes. Get the best olive oil, herbs, cheeses, stuff on hand to make what you have a hit.

6) Drink as much liquor as you would like. Realistically, you won't drink as much because you're not consuming all that fat etc so you will feel that glass of wine kinda like you would feel three.

OK I'm supposed to be doing something artistic now rather than blabbling about my precious box. Take care.

Posted by Elizabeth Grigg at 07:31 PM | Permalink

Today I totally rock on the weblog plugins. Here is what I installed:

1) mt-close. From 2003. Still works. Now this location will be back to zero spam. By David Raynes.

2) plazer. This is a cute flash thing (sorry those of you who get an upgrade message) which displays my current locaion. No, I can't change the font size.

3) flickr. I have it pointing to my favorites folder, so the contents could change according to my whim. This is flickr photos by Mark Carey.

At one point, I almost lost all hope because the plugins page was inaccessible. Then I realized 2 things: I took Mr.Carey's advice too literally (he should have mentioned, upload the files and folders in the file structure provided... I had uploaded them flat). And the other thing I realized was I had bravely converted all filenames to lowercase. Fixing the structure and renaming to original casing corrected the problem.

Right now dh is at target buying a USB cable for the zillion cameras around here we have never scrubbed pictures off of.

Posted by Elizabeth Grigg at 03:09 PM | Permalink

This was a week of high drama - in the workplace. As this is not a workplace blog, I won't go into each moment, or any moment really, but the salient point was this was a week where work eclipsed other areas of my life. Today, on Saturday, there is a day of reckoning of sorts.

What does it take to have a full week of work, where your arm feels like it will fall off from holding the phone, your voice has given out, your fingers can't type any more, and the todo list you write in the morning hours has nothing crossed off by the time it's time to turn in. Many things go by the wayside.

* Exercise. I could not even attempt my preferred methods(s). Next week it will be the brain-dead option of 20 minutes on the treadmill in the basement, like it or not, feel like it or not. I did buy a VCR today so I can watch my shows during that time. 50 bucks. Weighs about 6 ounces.

* Sleep. Staring at the ceiling hoping the plan we were coming up with was correct. Curiously, finding some information there. Waking up feeling like we were catching a plane. Stupidly went to go see Deerhoof which was stunning and very Gen-Y of course, but not onstage till 11:30. Gack.

* Meds. Yes, I am still off coffee, but have been using supplements for energy and to fall asleep more quickly. But then I go and not take these because I'm too tired to get out of bed. Doesn't make sense but it happens.

* Social life. Not a single phone call returned. In the doghouse with a few people who mean the most to me. What to do.

* Personal development. Ixne on that.

* Chow. This I was able to hold steady on. My new vegetables and liquor diet is a home run.

Today I found out my brother had an offer accepted on a house in a community called Mill Creek which is north of Seattle. Used to be we could think about selling our place and buy a place out there - or anywhere, Seattle is pretty much tops in terms of price - and we could do this for cash. Now, not so sure. Mill Creek is practically in-town as far as prices go. But what if it were true? I could still work, but no longer for money, same as the Whole Foods CEO. Perhaps some phone calls would be returned with a life under those new terms. Perhaps that page I long to turn would actually grip to my finger, in hopes that I had finally got my fill of this one I still insist on reading. However,  it seems there are no more boonies. All housing is expensive and assumes 2 incomes. We are doing well where we are. I just only wish I could own a car and have some free time is all. Anyway.

Today I signed up 2 people to go to Northern Voice. I think one of those people will be me. However I am not sure I will get the $$ or the prep time together to do a hotel this time. It might just be easier to dash up and back the same day. That conference, and others like it - Blog Business Summit, Mindcamp - are the times I feel most intellectually and socially alive all year. Yet as I write this our youngest falls out of his bed (he insists on sleeping with a huge bear which takes up most of his own space), and cries, and needs soothing, which does nothing for the feeling intellectually and socially alive let me tell you. He is sweet and has a smashin haircut, whatta ladykiller, but these little people are children. They are demanding and they are work. Work is in some ways the same way. Perhaps it would be the best to contrive things so I would not have to work for money, and spend my days jammin with Jim Allchin etc. No question this blog would be better, too, and the novel might get written, and and and.

A long work week leaves me on Saturday morning wondering who I am (besides work). I can't string two thoughts together. I go grocery shopping because the problem is easy and it feels productive to be there. Back at home, I sort through the pile of mismatched socks and gain a 20% match rate which is just phenomenal, really time well spent. I consider what would it take to step up to the next level regarding my place in this world professionally, and know I am nowhere near tooled up enough. If only I was incapable of seeing this potential success, and tasting it too, then I could live in blissful ignorance. However the problem is I do know what it would be like to put even one tenth the effort into my personal/professional intellectual pursuits that I do into the work I do for $$. What you are seeing now is one hundredth. It's really different. I do miss taking that other path.

Posted by Elizabeth Grigg at 09:50 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)